When I initially bought my villa, I knew that my bedroom ensuite would need to be modified. To ensure that I was safe whilst the awaiting approval from the NDIS, my wonderful OT and I brainstormed several temporary modifications I could implement to make it safer and easier to carry out my everyday activities.
My OT came up with a list and before I moved in, I had my handyman action quite a few things. I confess though, some of her safety recommendations seemed a bit drastic and unnecessary. There were a few measures I put in place whilst waiting but I ultimately decided to hold off until NDIS approval to do the rest.
I had no idea how long this process would take. Weeks turned into months, which has now turned into over a year. So I have recently gone back to my OT to seek her advice, fearing that she will be perplexed that I didn’t action everything immediately.
I write in my book earlier in my recovery:
Reinventing Emma page 178
It concerns me that I was fearful approaching my OT for 2 reasons: Firstly, I worried that she would take my decision personally and feel quite devalued. Throughout my recovery, I have seen firsthand the HUGE added turmoil I have experienced when I have not been ready to accept or implement the therapist’s recommendation.
Prior to my stroke, when I was working as a therapist, my patient’s reluctance to take on board my advice at times left me feeling quite berated. At times, when they would not implement what Id recommended and Id watched them struggle and fall in a heap, I confess to inwardly labelling them as ‘difficult’ or ‘fiercely independent’. However, that perception completely changed when I suddenly became a recipient of that care. Despite the recommendations usually making complete sense, numerous times I was not ready to accept them. It had nothing to do with the therapist’s expertise, it was about ‘me’ and where I was at, what mattered to me!
– she’d think ‘ I told you so’ as an expert. But I didn’t want to have to spend money, time and effort doing drastic works when the entire bathroom is getting modified long-term anyway.
As a supporter or provider, it’s very easy to feel berated when another doesn’t take on our advice. Advice that will only benefit them. However, I feel it so important to remember that a person might not be ready to take everything on board. I think all we can do is recommend whilst also ensuring in that list we suggest little measures that may be done quickly and get easily accepted.
For me, it’s a no brainer that everything on the list I should’ve implemented 10 months ago. But truthfully, I was not ready at that stage. My disability dictates my entire life and the thought of it shaping my beautiful ensuite wasn’t too appealing. So it took hip pain from crawling into the bathroom, water making the floor slippery and a few near misses trying to grab the installed grab rail for me to re approach my OT.
How can you taper your recommendations and educate the person that safeguards you and them and the rapport that you develop?