Twenty years after my stroke, I still live everyday with the ripple effects, especially the visual ongoing issues I face! Although overtime I’ve become used to adapting and compensating, going with my gut is important. In fact, only last week, during what I thought would be a routine optometrist appointment, something felt off.
I’ve lived with double vision for years, so seeing two of something isn’t exactly new. But this time, when I looked at the eye-test chart, one of the letters was shadowed in a way that didn’t feel familiar. It wasn’t my “usual” warped vision. It was different.
I mentioned it to the optometrist, who reassured me it was nothing to worry about. “Let’s just see how it is next time.”
But as I walked out of the appointment, that didn’t sit right with me. My intuition was telling me that Something wasn’t right.
I could have accepted her advice and waited weeks. But instead, I made a choice to listen to my gut.
That same day, my support worker helped me get a last-minute appointment with my eye surgeon. I got squeezed in between patients, and within minutes, he confirmed what my instincts had warned me, something wasn’t right. In fact, a loose stitch was obstructing my vision. He removed three stitches in total (two of which weren’t actually loose) making the whole thing far more uncomfortable than I’d expected.
Now, my surgeon is talented, but bedside manner? Let’s just say it’s not his superpower. I wasn’t given much explanation about what to expect, how to manage the pain, or the discomfort that would linger for days because those stitches weren’t actually loose.
But as I’ve been living this eye saga (on top of my usual warped vision) for nearly two year, I thankfully know how to look after myself afterwards, to minimise the discomfort. Whether it’s covering my eye with glad wrap, avoiding screens or having extra eye drops, or just simply resting. I’ve learned to do overtime because I’ve trusted my gut instinct and drawn on my lived experience of having multiple eye issues!
And as much as both doctors have helped me in their own ways, neither of them considered the full reality of what these experiences are like for me. From the pain, the disruption, the days of discomfort and the big the fear of something going wrong again.
What made the difference this time wasn’t the medical system and expertise. It was my own intuition.
If I hadn’t followed my gut, that loose stitch could have caused far more trouble. Maybe days, maybe weeks. Maybe yet another ulceration (something that would have taken longer to recover from). I’ll never know, and thankfully, I don’t need to. What matters is that I trusted myself.
Advocating for yourself can feel isolating. It can feel uncomfortable to go against a professional’s recommendation, especially when you already feel vulnerable. But trust your gut and your experience. No doctor, no test, no scan ever can tell you what you already are aware of and can sense deep down in your gut. 
I still have nine stitches to go. The journey isn’t over, and honestly, it’s exhausting. But this experience reminded me that I am not passive in my own care. I am an active participant. And my intuition is one of the most important tools I have.
Has there been a time when you went against a recommendation, and turned out to be right?
How can you prepare yourself to advocate for yourself when your instincts tell you that something isn’t right?