Last week, I went to the GP about a terrible pain in my neck.
Usually, I’ve got so many issues that I would ignore something like this and simply put up with it. But this time, the pain was particularly worse.
First, I asked my dad to have a look and he told me it was muscular and not neurological which was good to hear, knowing that I am susceptible to meningitis. However, I didn’t want that diagnosis to sit solely on his shoulders so reluctantly booked a consult with my GP. I wanted it to be a quick appointment – in and out – so frustrated with clinicians poking a prodding me and freaking out or hand balling me to Emergency or other providers.
So, I went to my local GP for my scheduled quick check-up. I was hopeful, but I wasn’t so lucky.
I wheeled into her rooms and she closed the door behind us saying in a concerned tone,
“Oh is your eye ok?” pointing in the direction of my eyepatch on my right eye.
“It’s a long story but it’s fine, I’m not here about that.”I said dismissivelyStraight away, she then went to take my temperature where she poked my hearing aid.
“Oh, what’s happened to your hearing, Em?”
I assured her: “No my ear is fine, I’m not here about that either.”
Then she saw the bandaid on my fingers from a paper cut.
“Oh dear Em, what’s happened to your finger?”
I assured her that I wasn’t there for the paper cut.
Although I’m aware that she was being thorough, it was a frustrating experience. I wanted it to be a quick visit to assess and reassure my dad about my neck pain.
I have so many doctors and specialists around me that are taking care of these other issues for me. It’s not why I went to the GP. And situations like this are often why I avoid going to the GP at all as they freak out about things and want to address everything, rather than asking me what I’d like help with.
I wish the doctor, in this situation, had asked me first what I was in there for, rather than assuming based on what she noticed and saw. It meant I had to go into all these other issues that weren’t what I needed to speak with her about.
It’s sometimes that we assume what another person’s biggest issues are, even if it’s with good intentions. In doing so, we can cause more frustration and focus on other issues. It’s more empowering to ask them what they’d like to address.
Have you made assumptions about someone that turned out to be incorrect? What are ways in which assumptions can be put to the side in those moments? What questions can you ask to empower rather than assume?