It’s hard enough to maintain your ‘looks’ for any person right?
Add “disability” and “ageing” to the mix and I’m highly unlikely to win a beauty contest anytime soon!
Initially, I felt that my efforts to keep up my appearance were worth it. Anything that made me look more ‘normal’ or like the ‘old Em‘ I would do. However, whilst I still intend to put in effort, now I see it more as a sign of ‘not giving up’ and a measure of the importance of self-care rather than just looking nice for others sake.
Last year I learnt that the botox that the doctors had been using to treat my right sided facial palsy, was no-longer working effectively. For 17 years they have been injecting botox into my stronger facial muscles to weaken them and give my right-side facial muscles a chance to strengthen. Sure, aesthetically it does make me look a bit more “normal” but it does so much more for my life. I can open my mouth effortlessly, articulate words more easily and my ability to convey my feelings through facial expressions is so much more accurate. What’s more, people can understand me because they can lipread more easily.
But today I was told that the intervention to date to maintain this symmetry, needs to change. Which means more discussions, appointments and referrals for me.
I thought my 3 monthly botox visits was enough to meet my efforts to keep up my appearance. Now, 20 years later I’m only getting older, my wrinkly left side is only becoming more pronounced and I have way less time, money and energy to invest in going to see new doctors, explore more options and have more procedures.
Thankfully, my new doctor is very mindful of the huge toll this has on my life.
She said today: “Em, I could do this on an ongoing basis but it’s likely to only get less and less effective and really expensive!”
I really appreciated her honesty and although part of me just wants to keep doing the same process and keep having the botox, I know that I do need to put in effort now in order to ‘future-proof’ me.
Since my stroke, I really have been solo with managing my facial palsy. However, that changed today! She has connected me to another facial surgeon, looking into clinics and other procedures that may benefit me going forward. I am beyond grateful for her and the the reassurance she’s given me. The respect I have for her is huge.
Especially if you or another have a chronic condition, I’d encourage you to explore future supports. It’s crazy to think that I had no back up for botox, until now. During covid, this treatment was not possible for me so I just put up with the discomfort and miscommunication bloopers.
Keeping up appearances is so important for any person but some people need a little bit more help. Why not make it less effort for them!
How can you set- up yourself or another with supports so this is easier and more sustainable in the future?