A support worker that has been working for me for 3.5 years is moving on. Yep, she’s leaving me with my amazing other supports, but I feel so sad and left behind with my disability.
I know that this is a time to do my best at making space for the grief of losing her.
Throughout this time working together, she has been training to be Therapist. Yep, studying whilst supporting her young family and working a full time job! She did want to continue working with me but we decided that it would be too much to maintain.
Although the professional relationship is that of a support worker, the role comes with a huge amount of trust, connection and vulnerability. It has to become a very personal and invaluable relationship not only for me, but for my other supports as well as my family. She has been with me through a lot of pivotal moments of my life: my aunt passing away, having meningitis again, my eye surgery, moving house and so much more.
She has given me (and so many) so much. She has made so much possible! In receiving her support it means our lives are fuller and easier. The things that sometimes are seen as such little tasks can make the biggest difference.
Every few years I’ll get new support workers; that’s just the nature of the work. I liken it to being like a family member, but it’s even closer than that. My support workers have seen me at my absolute worst and support me through those times in ways that others can’t understand. So this is why when, inevitably, they must move onto other things, the grief and sadness is very deep and must be acknowledged and processed.
Although right now it’s upsetting to lose her, I’m so reassured knowing that there are other great people out there who will help me in my journey. However, that doesn’t make it less tough. For now, processing this loss is easier as I know that the relationship is still ongoing, but in a different way now.
For people who are support workers, it’s not just offering support to a person. It may not feel like it, but those requiring support and also giving so much; in trust and vulnerability. I think when both sides acknowledge that shared experience, the relationship blossoms to that intimate level and allows for great work to be done together.
As a recipient of such amazing support that enables so much in your life, it’s easy to forget to show appreciation. Make sure you make space to recognise their impact and find a way to express that.
So, when you perform something seemingly simple in your support of another, whether it’s cleaning their teeth, carrying their coffee or opening a door, please realise the HUGE difference you have made to their lives in that moment. In fact, it’s likely that that act has made their other supporters’ lives that much better too!