What if the thing getting in the way of moving forward is me?
For months, I’ve caught myself falling into a familiar mental trap, constantly telling myself that I’ll do that when something else happens. I’ll start that project when my skills improve, tackle that challenge once this current problem is sorted out, or make that change when things finally settle down.
It’s a pattern where almost everything had quietly become dependent on an imagined, perfect future. And I’ve realised that rather than helping me move forward, this habit was keeping me completely stuck. I was spending so much time anticipating what was coming next that I wasn’t fully showing up for what was happening right now.
The irony is that in my work, I spend a lot of time talking about letting go to create space for what’s next. But maybe there’s another vital part to that conversation where we also need to stop waiting for the future to give us permission to start.
Because the truth is, there will always be something. There will always be a hurdle to navigate, more skills to refine, a reason to hesitate, or a time when we’ll finally feel ready. There is so much about our future that remains entirely unknown but we do have agency over what we choose to do today, and perhaps that’s the piece we so often forget.
Those small things we do today can change the trajectory of tomorrow. You can send the email, make the call, start the project, have the conversation, or take that uncomfortable first step. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be forward.
I write in my book about my first experience public speaking:
I … had committed to giving a brief three-minute thank you to the 100+ people who attended. Although I couldn’t speak very well, the response I received and the connection I felt with the audience was exhilarating. This was the elation I had missed since my stroke. At that moment I wished my ability to communicate was good enough to pursue my newfound love of public speaking.
Reinventing Emma, page 196-197
So, my new question isn’t asking what needs to happen before I can move forward. Instead, it asks what I can do today that might help create the future I want.
Maybe getting out of your own way isn’t about removing every single obstacle in your path. Maybe it’s about recognising that the biggest obstacle of all is the story we tell ourselves about why we need to wait.
So I’ll ask you what I’ve been asking myself: What is your inner dialogue telling you today? Is it helping you move forward, or is it telling you to wait?