After my ophthalmologist recommended to undergo yet another incredibly invasive and uncomfortable procedure, I decided to seek a second opinion.
The procedure, called a Tarsorrhaphy, where they basically stitch my eye closed, is an option that I have tried to dodge for the last 17 years. Learning that this was the next step for me in preserving my new cornea was beyond devastating. It felt so backwards!
Absolutely gutted, I decided I wanted to get another person’s advice – a second opinion!
The second eye doctor I went to was the doctor who put the gold weight in my eye in 2008. I attended my last appointment alone and found digesting and processing all the information he gave me quite tricky. So I organised my Dad to accompany me this time.
During the consultation, this 2nd doctor listened to my eye history and then went on to present me with all the other options I could do to help preserve my cornea. He seemed quite dismissive of the recommended ‘Tarsorrhaphy‘, labelling it quite painful and ugly, but explained in detail why it had been suggested. He also knew from my previous appointments, that this procedure had always been something I’ve wanted to avoid. Instead, he suggested that we increase the weight of the gold weight in my right eyelid. He trialled different weights to see how we could increase the lid closure, thus protecting the cornea. The doctor told me that a Tarsorrhaphy was not out of the question completely, but he didn’t feel like it needed to happen right now.
I admit, a massive weight was shifted (excuse the pun) when I learnt I didn’t have to have the Tarsorrhaphy. I felt so valued and empowered in this appointment and my respect for that Doctor was immense
. In fact, if I reflect on that consultation, there were a few things that made the experience so much more gentle for me.
My dad being there as an advocate for me made a huge difference. He was able to take notes and we spoke about things afterwards. He was able to remind me of things that I’d missed in the appointment and was a great sounding board to talk through it all, so I was better process everything the doctor had just said.
I also felt really heard and understood. In fact, when I initially explained the current state of my eye care, he listened, looked at my new cornea through the slit lamp and said, “I can tell the HUGE job that you’ve done in keeping this so healthy Em. Well done!”
I also told him about the custom silicon eye patch being made for me and he asked “Who thought of that?” and I told him that “it was my therapist & I!” He said “That’s amazing!”. It was such a great feeling to hear that validation and respect for me having looked after my own care and seeking out solutions myself.
The second doctor, unlike the first, talked me through all of the options available to me. Whilst he did inform us about what was entailed if I chose to have the Tarsorrhaphy he also explored other options with me, like the gold weight.
“You can choose what’s best for you right now Em” He said.
As part of a patient’s care, it’s always best to inform them of ALL the options available to them, and all the risk and reward associated with those options. I really felt as though I was given this.
When he was discussing the option of adding weight, he was explaining to me that it’s a much simpler solution. And I felt like I was been given an option that aligns with me a great deal more with how I want to continue with the care for my eye.
The value I received from seeking a second opinion was incredible. Also knowing how I wanted to attend the appointment (with my dad) to be able to ask other questions if I got overwhelmed and to catch things the doctor said that I might have missed meant that I left feeling like I had far more autonomy over the information I received.
So, when attending appointments where you’ll likely need to digest a lot of information, consider what you can do to make it easier. Perhaps take another person or ask to record the consultation. Even preparing questions beforehand makes things so much easier.
If it is another seeking your expertise, what can you do to strengthen the rapport and leave them feeling empowered?
Maybe tap into what they have done in the lead up to that to validate their actions and effort. Perhaps even provide them with several options to manage where they have more choice and autonomy.
Incredible how much more valued and empowered I felt by simply seeking another opinion.