I am so tired of hearing, “Just rest” or “Your body is telling you to slow down.” I know people mean well but what if my body is actually screaming because I’ve been staying too still?
For me, rest isn’t restorative and stillness isn’t neutral. If I don’t move and stretch, my body lights up with deep nerve pain. “Rest culture” doesn’t work the same on my body as it does with others.
This morning, I prioritised movement and went to a yoga class. I stretched and worked with my body instead of freezing it. And because of that, I can now sit with my leg elevated and actually tolerate it. If I hadn’t moved first, this position would be unbearable. That nuance really matters for me but it’s rarely acknowledged.
I went to yoga because I know my body needs to stretch. I know I need to create space in my day for that and not just space to physically stretch but also to be with the frustration. I needed a place to sit and practice accepting it rather than constantly resisting.
Sometimes, I think it would be easier not to tell anyone I’m going to yoga. It seems to confuse people or frustrate them or they decide that it’s not proper rest. But they can’t see the pain that my whole body is in without it and laying down in bed all day actually makes it worse. It’s hard to constantly explain and justify my choices.
Right now, I’m dealing with a left foot injury. I’m in a moon boot and the pain is immense. Not just in my foot, but everywhere else. It’s thrown my entire body off and I’m feeling it everywhere. I have been prescribed painkillers and told to wear the boot. But the side effects of the painkillers are horrendous and they still are unsure on the cause of the injury. It means another exhausting task for me to manage my own symptoms without understanding the source.
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aving spent years adapting to my body has built resilience in my that I figured adding a moon boot wouldn’t cause that much inconvenience. I already use a walking frame and live with nerve pain; how hard could it be?
But I was wrong.
I’ve found balancing is so much harder and requires so much more effort. It seems that every tasks right now requires more energy, planning and patience.
Being in the unknown of this injury is hard too. I wish the doctors would just tell me exactly what to do to make it better because I don’t know what to do.
However, I know that I don’t need to be told to “just rest”. I need advocacy. I need someone who understands bodies like mine and that movement is medicine. Rest doesn’t always need to look like stillness.
I am not refusing rest; I am refusing the idea that stillness is always the answer.
Living in this body requires constant negotiation and recalibration. Right now, the hardest part isn’t the pain, it’s the loneliness of having to explain it over and over again.
I’m advocating for my own type of “rest” which looks a lot different from what others might consider “restful”.
What is your type of “rest”? Perhaps it looks differently to another’s way of resting but that’s ok, we are all different. Do you!