In every yoga class I need to practise at the front of the class to compensate for my impaired vision & hearing. However, this means that my other deficits are in the limelight. For years, the prospect of putting others’ off their own practise has often has made it harder to position my mat upfront where I would be able to perform at my best. Here, I not only can see & here better but have been able to cling onto the stable wall ‘spider-man style’, to reduce my wobbles & number of yogis’ stares!
But now, I feel I need to challenge myself and this means moving out of my comfort-zone/ spot, forcing myself to put my mat both up the front & away from the wall. Today I did this, but became so focussed on what others would think. I became so worried about how distracted they were by how I was practising that my own performance was compromised. Subsequently, I wobbled more, it was harder to perform all the postures & I chose (to my detriment) to tune into all the unhelpful & negative thoughts.
After the class, I explained my position to the instructor & apologised. She just shook her head & said, “Em, you don’t know how inspired the class is by you…If you wobble, it only makes them perform better & complain less. If you can do it, they can!” Quite often we worry so much about the impact that we have on another that we let our monkey-mind generate negative thoughts & stories that only compromise our own performance.
So when doing a task, stop & consider what stories your letting yourself make up or what thoughts you’re choosing to tune in to. Whether it’s telling yourself, “that everyone will fall over” or “perform better because of you!” is up to you.
How will you choose to think?